Gift giving and expectations

by Suzanne Maiden on February 24, 2008

Is it a gift, or a non-verbal contract with strings attached?  I try to be ever conscious of my behaviors, for example, I stay in therapy, I continue reading books that promote emotional well-being (typically C.G. Jung, Robert Johnson, James Hillman and even the “pop” psychology stuff), and yet I still get stuck in my own ego.  Recently, I noticed my expectation around gift-giving.  I purchased a birthday gift for a friend, and never heard anything back.  I know the gift was recieved, and no extenuating circumstances were evident; by most standards, I am considered a generous gift giver.  I got pissy. 

How dare someone not acknowledge my time and effort to remember them – my life is extremly busy too!  It’s not just the monetary price I paid, but the principle.  My ego completely clouded my perception of the situation.  I asked myself:  Do I give gifts to get return praise?  What is my expectation when I give?  OUCH!  These hard questions (at least for me, maybe not for my more enlightened friends) forced me to re-evaluate my motives regarding giving.  What I know consciously now is this:  I want to give without strings or expectation.  I want to joyfully give from my very highest spiritual self.  I want to give because it is one more way to promote kindness and love - which creates the ripple effect and perpetuates these highest Univeral Laws.  So, if the recipient does not respond, it matters not.  I acted from my highest Self. 

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