Entries Tagged 'Therapy' ↓

By:  Suzanne Maiden, M.A., LPC 

Years before I became a therapist, I began my own therapeutic journey.  My first therapist, Ed, said something so profound I never forgot.  I was depressed and felt hopeless.  I thought about suicide.  I didn’t have a plan or anything, but it surely seemed as a possible option at the time.  Although I felt deep shame about my suicidal fantasies, I knew I needed help, and confessed to him.  I asked if my thoughts were normal - did everyone think about suicide at some point?  Was I crazy?  Ed calmly answered, “Suzanne, if someone has never thought about suicide - they are not paying attention.  Life is hard!” 

I sighed with relief.  I was, at least in that moment, normal.   Well, whatever defines normal - and that’s a whole other blog post.  Ed validated my suicidal thoughts and feelings as being within the normal spectrum of human emotions.  Today, as a practicing psychotherapist, the majority of my patients, at some point, express some suicidal ideation.  That’s the psycho-babble clinical jargon for suicidal thoughts.   According to Swiss psychiatrist C. G. Jung, when someone feels suicidal - they have the right idea!  Yes!  Jung used to tell his patients, in his thick Swiss accent, “Thank God!  You understand now that something needs to die!”  Jung meant that something needs to die psychologically for the patient - not physically.  Suicidal feelings signal something very big within us needs addressed and resolved - not physically killed.  A popular saying by therapists who assist suicidal patients is, “Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.”  According to SAVE - Suicide Awareness Voices of Education:

• Suicides take the lives of almost 30,000 Americans each year
• Over half of all suicides are completed with a firearm
• For young people, 15-24, suicide is the third leading cause of death
• The highest risk factor for suicide is depression
• 80% of people who seek treatment for depression are treated SUCESSFULLY!

If you or someone you know struggles with suicidal thoughts, please seek immediate medical attention at your local emergency room, call 911, or call: 1-800-273-TALK (8255).  There is HELP.  There is HOPE.  There is HEALING.  

By: Suzanne Maiden, M.A., LPC

I was invited to speak to a group this past week.  I spoke about SIB, Self-Injurious Behavior, aka, ‘cutting’.  I gave the attendees my four-page handout citing facts and stats regarding definitions, gender and racial differences, typical age groups, and various scientific theories.  I enjoy presenting and sharing my knowledge.

Then, a middle-aged man with a wave of steel-colored hair looked up over his metal-frame glasses and asked:  “You said you have fairly good success with helping cutters.  What do you attribute that to?”  I readily responded:  “Therapeutic brilliance never cures the client.  But love does.” 

Out of all the data I presented to this educated group, and all of my care in looking professional, speaking well, and emulating speakers that I’ve admired - this statement alone seemed to win their confidence in me.  I saw people nod.  This moment of my pure authenticity resonated as their truth.  What qualities does a good therapist possess?  Yes, the obvious is needed.  A good therapist needs to have a solid theoretical framework, based on data and research, from which they operate.  Most therapists that I know, are eclectic and integrate a variety of techniques such as experiential with humanistic, and dose of cognitive-behavioral therapy to assist their clients.  This is good.  This works.  But, in my experience, when the client experiences genuine lovingness from the therapist - this hastens the healing process.  Carl Rogers referred to this as ‘unconditional positive regard.’  

When we feel safe, contained, valued, deeply understood and loved by the therapist - we are able to allow ourselves to be vulnerable and emotionally exposed, knowing that whatever we bring into the therapeutic setting is OK.  This is what helps us heal.  Love.