5 Things Your Therapist is Really Thinking

By:  Suzanne Maiden What is your therapist really thinking during the therapeutic hour?  A lot.  I can only speak for myself and what thoughts run a marathon through my head.  So fasten your seat belt, here we go. First, I assess the obvious physical/emotional presentation of my client.  For example, are they within normal limits [...]

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Emotional Prostitution

We’re all whores.  We prostitute ourselves everyday.  Yes, this vulgar reality hits hard.  We compromise on what we want, what we need, and what we believe in.  We (most often unconsciously) prostitute ourselves emotionally.  We sacrifice our emotional well being as a trade off for some other outcome.  Usually the other outcome is the fulfillment of another’s ideas for us and oftentimes money is involved. What does [...]

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Interpreting Your Dreams

By: Suzanne Maiden  Our dreams provide us with profound information - pregnant with meaning, dreams illuminate our emotional health.  Dream data suggest what needs psychological excavation, examination, and healing.  When a client needs access to difficult material they consciously resist dredging up, we explore their dreams.    As Hall (1984) said, “The dream is to the psyche as an x-ray is to the body.”  Oftentimes, new clients minimize and poo-poo [...]

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Same Sex Love

By: Suzanne Maiden As a psychotherapist, I see many young people struggle with their sexual orientation. Many confide feelings of both bi-sexuality or straight homosexuality. And, the sacred space in which they divulge their secret is the first they have verbalized their inner truth. I have the privilege of being the first person with whom [...]

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Abusive Father

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Dear Zanny,Hi, this is Annie from California. I have a very abusive relationship with my father. We usually don’t see middle ground on many things, but the worst thing is that whenever I disagree and provoke his temper, he explodes and abuses me either verbally and/or physically. My dad has called me hopeless, futile, pathetic, [...]

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Longing for the Other

By: Suzanne Maiden  Sometimes we go through the motions of life and all seems well.  We can honestly say we experience relative happiness, contented relationships, and what many would identify as “a good life.”  What happens, then when something comes along and tips the proverbial apple cart?  What now must be metaphorically picked up, examined, [...]

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Sexual Intimacy ~ Spiritual Ecstasy

By: Suzanne Maiden The sublime power of sex; heightened sensual sensations, aroused emotions, the divine expression of love, the final crescendo culminating in physical ecstasy is a true spiritual gift. I recently had a lengthy conversation with a young person regarding the distinction between what we termed ‘physical maintenance’ vs. making love. I was so [...]

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Living on Borrowed Time

By: Suzanne Maiden None of us know when will die.  Most of us don’t know how we will die.  When someone has a catastrophic disease, this awareness is acutely activated.  I am living on borrowed time.  I am a two-time cancer survivor.  For whatever reason, my body grows deadly tumors.  So far, my oncologist has successfully cut [...]

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Holding Your Partner Emotional Hostage

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Stephanie from Louisiana called and asked how she can “get over” her spouses previous poor financial decisions that they finally are recovering from. Stephanie can’t “let go” of her spouses mistake and admits she constantly monitors his every move and reminds him of his prior poor judgment. How can she move forward? Dear Stephanie: When [...]

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SPANAIR DISASTER: An Insider’s Experience

By: Suzanne Maiden Another plane crash. One hundred-fifty-three are dead, and thousands begin to grieve. Broken hearts bleed as pieces of mangled bodies and bits of aircraft parts are “bagged and tagged” and carried off to a make-shift morgue. Unfortunately, I am a card carrying member of the ‘losing a loved one to an aviation [...]

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Substance Abuse Recovery and Your Partner

By: Suzanne Maiden When your partner is in recovery for substance abuse for either drugs or alcohol or both, the supporting partner should abstain.  Period.  I know many couples who have a partner in recovery and continue to use, specifically alcohol.  I hear, “Why should I stop drinking?  I’m not the alcoholic?” I do not [...]

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Jealous Spouse

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Dear Zanny: So I woke up at 6:30 this morning to find my husband at the kitchen table already working. It is rare for him to be up this early, and even rarer for him to be working so soon, so I asked him what’s up. He says he’s been up since 5 AM because [...]

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Body Disfigurement

by: Suzanne Maiden My body is no longer beautiful.  I am disfigured.  Cancer surgery to remove a fist-sized tumor that attached itself to my lower spine, hip, and back of my stomach muscle – left my body rearranged.  What a humbling, deflating reality.  My right hip is significantly bigger than my left because the surgeon stuffed [...]

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Constellation of the Animus/Anima

Swiss psychiatrist, C.G. Jung, talked extensively about the projection of one’s anima/animus – our inner opposite gender.  When we meet our animus (the inner male for women) or anima (inner female for men) – it’s instant kinetic attraction.  My God, you will feel it like a tsunami.  You will find yourself fantasizing about them in every [...]

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Death of a Baby

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Dear Zanny: I was wondering if there are any other mommies here that have lost a baby.  My daughter was born still on June 1st and I am slowly getting back into my normal routine.  I was just wondering if anyone else has gone through something similar and how they handled the situation.  I have a [...]

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